Sophia "Toto" Oakeley
Abt 1821 - 1864 (~ 43 years)-
Name Sophia Oakeley Relationship 
with Marion Murdoch Johnson Gender Female Birth Abt May 1821 Baptism 27 May 1821 Lydham, Shropshire, England, United Kingdom 
[1, 2] Death 23 Jun 1864 [3] Siblings6 brothers and 3 sisters Last Modified 24 Jan 2021
Father Rev. Herbert Oakeley
b. Abt 1780
d. 14 Apr 1858 (Age ~ 78 years)Mother Catharina Bolland
b. Abt Nov 1781
d. 7 Apr 1858 (Age ~ 76 years)Marriage License 29 Nov 1804 Holy Trinity, Clapham, Wandsworth [4] Marriage 29 Nov 1805 Holy Trinity, Clapham, Wandsworth [5] Count of Children 10
Husband 1 Capt. Richard Francis Cleaveland, RN
b. Abt 1806
d. Abt 1849 (Age ~ 43 years)Marriage 1839 St Margaret's, Westminster, Middlesex, England, United Kingdom [6] Age at Marriage Sophia was ~ 17 years old - Richard was ~ 33 years old. Children 1. Catherine Sophia Cleaveland
b. 30 Mar 1841
d. 28 Nov 1920, Sussex, England, United Kingdom (Age 79 years)2. Adelard Clarence Cleaveland
b. Abt 1843
d. Abt 1909 (Age ~ 66 years)Last Modified 30 Mar 2020
Husband 2 James Johnstone McCleverty
b. Between 1736 and 1830Marriage 29 May 1846 Charlton, Greenwich, London [7] Age at Marriage Sophia was 25 years old - James was ~ 110 years old. Last Modified 30 Mar 2020
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Notes
Toto was the god-daughter (and niece) of Sophia Bolland.
From F_Unknown_SophiaLonsdale_Reminiscences:
When I was a girl of about fourteen, I was as much in love with her [Sophia Oakeley] as any of the young men admirers. Besides her beauty she had a fine mellow contralto voice, and was most amusing and attractive, very unreasonable and changeful, but that seemed only to rivet my chains. I never knew if she would neglect me as a mere child, in which case I was miserable, or make me a friend and a confidante. The confidences were all about her lovers, and I expect I should have been better without them. Once she told me she had accepted a man whom she hated. When I said “Why had she accepted him”, she said “It was to get rid of him.”
She was very like Cynthia in Mrs Gaskell’s “Wives and Daughters”. Like it was with Cynthia whatever she put on looked right. When my mother was going to take her to a ball she was a little dismayed to see rather a dirty old frock put out for her, till Toto said “But Aunt Sophy they never look at my clothes”. She was an admirable mimic, and got fun out of the quietest sort of life, but was delighted at the prospect of a bit of gaiety. I have seen her before going out, rub her hands together saying, “Won’t I have a good flirtation tonight”? She did not much like offers – they spoilt the fun. One lover she did care for. She offered to run away with him to be married. He either was at the time, or was going to be, ordained, and prudently declined. She said it was dishonourable of him to refuse.
Oakeleys had a curious code of honour. Altogether they were eccentric. After being almost scrubbily economical, they would burst into extravagances. “Oakeleys must go fast”. Poor Toto! She made not a very happy first marriage with a Captain Cleveland [sic], a kind man but mostly at sea, and a disastrous second marriage. Under so much frivolity she had some generous qualities. She nursed a family of her brother’s (who with his wife, had died of yellow fever, in Bermuda) when the children arrived in London and doctors were afraid to attend them. I think she really loved and appreciated my Father and Mother.
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Event Map 
Baptism - 27 May 1821 - Lydham, Shropshire, England, United Kingdom 
Marriage - 1839 - St Margaret's, Westminster, Middlesex, England, United Kingdom 
Marriage - 29 May 1846 - Charlton, Greenwich, London = Link to Google Earth
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Sources - [S0121] Ancestry, England, Select Births & Christenings 1538-1975, (ancestry.com), 27 May 1821, Sophia Oakeley; Original data: England, Births and Christenings, 1538-1975. Salt Lake City, Utah: FamilySearch, 2013.; FHL Film Number:919657.
- [S0356] FamilySearch, England, Herefordshire Bishop's Transcripts, 1583-1898, (familysearch.org), 27 May 1821, Sophia Oakeley; (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:7YRK-55T2 : 2 November 2019), Herbert Oakeley in entry for Sophia Oakeley, 1821.
- [S0366] FindMyPast, England & Wales Government Probate Death Index 1858-2019, (findmypast.co.uk), 20 Oct 1864, Sophia McLaverty.
- [S0255] Ancestry, London and Surrey, England, Marriage Bonds and Allegations, 1597-1921, (ancestry.co.uk), 29 Nov 1804, Bolland / Oakeley; Marriage Bonds and Allegations. London, England: London Metropolitan Archives.; Reference Number:DW/MP/188/064.
- [S0170] Ancestry, England, Select Marriages, 1538-1973, (ancestry.co.uk), 29 Nov 1804, Bolland / Oakeley; Original data: England, Marriages, 1538–1973. Salt Lake City, Utah: FamilySearch, 2013.; FHL Film Number:0307716-0307718, 307719.
- [S0126] Ancestry, England & Wales, Civil Registration Marriage Index, 1837-1915, (ancestry.co.uk), 1839, Oakeley / Cleaveland; FreeBMD; Vol 1; Page 425.
- [S0170] Ancestry, England, Select Marriages, 1538-1973, (ancestry.co.uk), 29 May 1846, Cleaveland / McCleverty; FHL Film Number413307.
- [S0121] Ancestry, England, Select Births & Christenings 1538-1975, (ancestry.com), 27 May 1821, Sophia Oakeley; Original data: England, Births and Christenings, 1538-1975. Salt Lake City, Utah: FamilySearch, 2013.; FHL Film Number:919657.